Why I am a runner

I am a runner from myself. I have been running from myself many years. If you ask why, the only reason that I can think of is the past haunting me. Living in fear of abuse, failure, have no one to be friends with, the bullying I endure everyday. My past relationships with men, acquaintances, family. Running don't stop these fears I understand that. Dealing with them head on is unbearable. I ran from being a child at age 8 or 9 years old to an adult in a short time. I had to grow up fast and take the adult life by the horns and fight it when it charged me. I felt like a clown running from the bull in the rink. I ran to the following states to find myself. However the past haunt me there too. 1.) Arkansas 2.) Arizona 3.) Colorado 4.) Montana 5.) Michigan 6.) Minnesota 7.) North Dakota 8.) Nevada 9.) South Dakota 10.) Utah 11.) Wisconsin 12.) Wyoming Yeah trying to live in these states was just a challenge for me. The longest so far was Wisconsin. Home state of the Green Bay Packers. One of the coldest winters around. I love to do the polar bear dive. Finally ran from there to Arkansas. It's hot but loving it. People ask me how I picked these states to live in. Well Wisconsin home state where I was raised. Everyone except Arkansas I was either driving around the country or just with truckers. Now as far as my newest move to Arkansas is quite interesting to some. Arkansas starts with A so that is where I start. I took a map of Arkansas and put it on the dart board. Threw a dart and it landed between Conway and Little Rock. Ok now how to decide which one. I had written both down showed both names to my cat. Threw them on the floor and what ever one she put in her mouth first was it. I took it from her and it was Conway. I had done one last thing to make sure it was it. Heads Conway tails LR. Flipped up a quarter landed on ground walked over and heads was up. So that was where I was going.