Living with regrets and sadness

How do you get over the feeling of regret when important times come such as Birthday's, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New years and so many other times. The hurt and sadness slowly eat at your heart and you begin to die with each time a personal time or event comes along. You don't want to be miserable however those time and following events come once a year. I have ruined my life and regret many things. Trying to be positive is really hard for me at those times once a year comes around. People say when you lose parts of your life that means the world to you it takes a toll on your life. You feel depressed maybe suicidal or who knows what. I just feel numb and try to get past them times. It takes a while for me and it has been said, that even after the events I still talk about how I wish I could change the past. Bring some part of my regrets come to rest by forgiving those who hurt me. Those who hurt me hold a grudge for a lifetime. I have tried to mend them bad times with all types of bribes, willingness to change. I live one day at a time now. My mind still seems to race those special events even those that never happen. I punish myself thinking people will forgive me and speak to me. Thanksgiving is a time to be thankful, I only have six things that I can name at this time to be thankful for. The following is what I am thankful for... A.) God ( The Only one who truly forgives me without regrets.) One whom forgives our sins. B.) My fiance whom someday marry. Looking at March sometime (possibly) C.) My place I rent. ( The roof over my head.) D.) My life on earth. (The air I breathe and the Praises and Thanks that God made man.) E.) My vehicle (Without it I would be walking all the time. Having it to go places without asking for rides.) F.) My talents I have. If your someone who can be thankful for family, friends, good events I am glad. I feel like a misfit that people seem to ignore and want nothing to do with me. ( Yes I am negative now.) If the truth is told and people don't want to hear it well when was the last time were you negative. We all have negativity and don't say you don't because that's a lie. Some of my regrets now, if you can relate then maybe you can leave me a positive message to help me. You all read my blogs however no one replies with a message. This is what I am talking about when I say people just view it, no replies. How many of you feel left out or been ignored due to your everyday life style or appearance and anything else you judge a person by. I like ALL people I feel if you are the way you are you're just a person not to be judged. We all can be less judged by people. The ONLY true JUDGE should be GOD. He should be the ONLY ONE. My Regrets... 1.)Leaving and divorcing my whole family. Reason why... (My ex friend who was a chronic alcoholic and gave up on himself.) I took care of for 13 years, dedicated faithfully, loyally. I was losing precious time with reality. I had gone to lengths of finding help from social services. Nothing. His family lived in the Country of Norway. He had a green card. We were never married. Just really good friends. My family liked him for what reason I will never know. They despised his drinking, smoking. Other than that he was a great guy. I had planned to leave him but did it all wrong. I should have taken him to the hospital where they could have hopefully helped him. Inside I left him to die alone. I did call his ex bosses daughters to look after him. That was a JOKE. I was in AR. and went back many times to take care of him. He begged me to stay. I knew he would never change. He called my family and told them I left him to die alone. I will never know the last thing he told anyone before he died. My family won't even indulge me to know. I was called an unforgivable person for leaving an elderly man die alone. This is One of my Biggest REGRETS today. Leaving Wisconsin and moving to AR. was one of the hardest but easiest things to do. I took a bus then a train back and forth numerous times to tend for him. Why I didn't stay, I was enjoying the better life somewhere else. A place I could be without family haunting me. That wasn't the case. So I come to the fact that I am running away from myself. From what I will never know.I knew after the death if I stayed in Wisconsin my family wouldn't have helped me with support or a place to live. I would have been a basket case and the death was unbearable for many months. I still remember when the call of the medical examiner. " You standing or sitting?" I was unsure what she said when she said medical examiners office. I told her just tell me what this was about with a stern voice. The death of so and so has happened. I screamed and fell to the floor on my knees in tears. I couldn't believe it, however I knew it was bound to happen one day but never thought it happen this soon. 2.)Leaving Wisconsin and moving to AR has had its ups and downs but for the most part better for the change. This is where I found my fiance. One whom really truly knows me and understands me 100%. It's like this was my calling to move to AR to find my husband for the LAST and final time. This will be the third time and my last time. It either works or it don't that's it. Writing a letter to my family divorcing them due to not understanding me and supporting me in a horrific time of his death. For all their abuse they done to me all these years. Well enough of the regrets. Hoping by moving to AR will bring me a few wishes and reasons to stay in Ar. 1.) Marry my husband 2.) Getting my bakery/ cafe shop open soon 3.) Getting more family and friends 4.) Getting my GLORY and FAME from my bakery/ cafe shop. Getting the my name out there and my business. Having people travel far and near just to come see my shop. This would be my spotlight in being FAMOUS. Just like a celeb wants fortune and fame well my bakery/cafe shop my fame and fortune. Hope you all will enjoy the Holidays come soon. Love one another and forgive those who hurt you. Remember one thing... ONLY GOD can JUDGE!

Trump the King of Presidents

Trump should have been here years ago. However it's good that he is here now. With the last few Presidents messing the country up, Trump has a lot to repairing to do. He is a wise and powerful man that if you feel he was the wrong candidate for President then go to a different country. We need less violence, harder punishments for convicts and repeat offenders. Having a King of all Kings for Presidents will be the new USA of peace and harmony. Mark my words, President Trump will rule the country and we will bow to our NEW King of the USA. He has been watching the country all these years and he too is sick of the country going to hell in a hand basket. Vets will finally get their gratitude for their service. Vets will get the respect we need to give them. The vets don't get enough thank you's and appreciated them for their lives and their lives they lost for you. Lot of vets came back home hurt and have needs and we all need to be more supportive to the men and women vets who gave their lives for us. One thing I hope Trump can do not just for me but ALL the people with no or little health insurance is to give a Quality affordable low premium health insurance that everyone can afford. I see too many elderly people and others with hardships and they suffer and don't get their health needs met. Why, because Barack has hurt the country with a useless high rate of health insurance you can't get the immediate help needed because the deductible is so outrageous that one has to be a millionaire in order to afford the insurance. Another thing I hope Trump can work on is the care of people in nursing homes who can't afford quality care and get the low end of the deal. I have seen how the low class unable to afford QUALITY care at nursing homes get treated. It makes me sick. We all deserve the BEST quality care when we are unable or have no one to help us. Nursing homes need to find nurses that RESPECT ALL elderly with no or little health insurance.